Day 8!

Happy 2017! In case you were wondering just how stubborn I was, I waited until January THIRD to continue my challenge, to prove that I am doing this for myself and not because I feel that long-term change is a dictation of a new year beginning. WARNING: Because I have yet to face the reality of 2016 being over, this post will probably become a bit of a tangent…

I have determined that 2016 was a year of failure for me. I continually failed at most things I attempted, failed at keeping promises, connections, and finishing things I began, and generally failed at enjoying being alive for pretty much an entire year. While this seems exhaustingly negative, this realization is actually rather liberating. I have lived most of my life with a fear of failure, so to watch myself repeatedly fail and still come out the other end in one piece gives me permission to fail some more. Take this blog, for example. The fact that I could have finished a “30-day challenge” over a month ago indicates that maybe I have failed. However, I am giving myself permission to take my time, with the ultimate goal of just FINISHING.

I only learned about “growth mindset” techniques in the past year, a concept I wish I had integrated into my life about 20 years ago. To have a growth mindset means to look at everything as a process, to undo the black and white concepts of “smart vs. dumb” or “correct vs. incorrect”, and most importantly to not fear failure because it just adds to one’s growth. I want to continue into this next year fostering a growth mindset, letting myself fail (as long as I pick myself back up), and putting effort into life, whatever the outcome. I will be trying to rebuild things that have fallen apart, give myself more goals to work towards (even if they don’t turn out the way I hope…again), and find my voice again.

Adriene’s Day 8 practice was a perfect start to the year, all prejudices about New Year’s resolutions aside. My personal style has always been on the restorative side, especially when teaching. It seems to take a more “mature” yogi to do a full practice without the exertion of a traditional work-out, or at least one that is open to the benefits of slow, breath-focused movement. Although sometimes I question if I prefer restorative yoga because I am lazy and do not like to force myself physically, I am reminded of the benefits I have reaped from slowing down – in yoga and in life.

Body: Although my body is tight and weak compared to what I am used to, I let myself be where I was today. Stretching was what I really needed, especially the hip-openers. Although I am capable of at least rocking in and out of Crow pose, I usually opt out because I do not like the culture of excitement surrounding yoga ‘tricks’. However, today in the comfort of my own home, I let myself experiment with it for the first time in several months and felt rather successful.

Mind: My breath was not as connected as I could have been today. With time I think I can get my immense concentration back. I know I should start purely meditative practice again to encourage this during yoga. Resolution material, maybe?